A street Fighting man?

Story by Man in the Street (the following interview has been colour coded. Geoff's  in green and Paul's in red.)

As a reporter for the Unspeakable McCartney, I feel it is my duty to report the facts as they become necessary.  Or at the very least make them up.  However, I am pleased to tell you we needn't have gone to the extreme of making anything up.  For here we have with us Sir Paul McCartney and Mr. Geoff Baker via telephone and mobile respectively.  Mr. Baker could you in your own words tell us what happened last night?

"Yes, Man in the street, I'd be happy to.  Right, as I had said before I made a terrible mistake.  I got pissed and lost my judgment ..."

(Sir Paul interrupts Geoff at this point)

"Judgment!  Judgment! Pah!"

"I really and truly didn't mean for any of this to happen.  Err, right."

"Bullocks!!   I'll tell you what happened.  This clout bastard of a publicist tells some piss artist photographer that I'm out for a night of fun and that.  What happens?  This dodgy guy starts ranting and waving a camera in my face.  As if I don't get enough of that as it is.  So I told him what I tell the kids when they want to take my picture. Fuck off you ponce!"  I felt  I needed to interject and question both Mr. McCartney and Mr. Baker about the alleged shoving that went on.

"That's an all out lie!" Paul told us. "I fucking put pay to  him."  I pointed out to Sir Paul that openhandedly shoving someone in the chest did not really count as putting pay to anyone. It's more of a ponce move if you ask me.

"Ah, but that's where youre wrong mate. Our kid Paul didn't do any shoving, unless by shoving you mean a bloody great whack upside the head." Geoff told us.

It was however reported by eyewitnesses that Mr. McCartney at no time punched the photographer.

"Who's talking about the photographer?"  Geoff asked.

I asked that if in closing either had and remorse or statements for the public.

"Right." Said Mr. Baker of yesterday's publicity stunt turned horror.

"Fuck off you bullocking bastard." Said Mr. McCartney of yesterday's punch up.